Aidan Martin on new song, Tears: "If you want to cry with a box of tissues, come on in!"

X Factor star Aidan Martin has never shied away from addressing the mistakes he made after moving to London aged 17, so it makes sense that he’s made a living out of channelling deep, dark feelings into his songs. He explains how he overcame struggles with addiction and turned his life around using music, and hints at happier themes to come…

Aidan Martin has a problem. He can’t stop rescuing abandoned pianos.

“I have three in my house at the moment. I try to save them and salvage them,” the singer-songwriter admits. 

“I’ll see one out on the street and I'm like, ‘I just can't leave you out here in the cold!’ So yeah, I've definitely got a bit of a problem. But I absolutely love, love, love piano; it's totally my thing. I started playing when I was probably 10, and it became such a huge love for me that it almost overtook singing at one point. 

"I used to get lost in my own little world. In lockdown, it was gonna be my new thing to restore pianos, and obviously I never quite got to it. But it’s the thought that counts?” he suggests with a shrug.

Growing up in a small town outside of Newcastle (although you wouldn’t immediately guess from his accent), Martin felt like an outsider, and found solace in music. He’s been living in London since he was 17, and the now 31 year old tells Headliner he’s an “East London boy now” – whose accent northerns up again at the slightest encouragement.

“After one drink and being around any Geordie friends, that comes right back out and it’s thicker than ever,” he laughs. He’s just got home after a fleeting visit to L.A where he filmed the music video for his new single, Tears, which tackles topics he’s struggled with throughout his life.

“It sounds so fancy,” he says of the reason for his trip, “but trust me I was just little old Aidan from Newcastle who took a little quick fly over there, shot a video, and came back. I remember listening to the song about 100 times with about 100 bottles of wine. 

"Okay, I was at home with just one big glass of wine,” he grins, “but I was trying to think about where this song is really stemming from. The lyrics are: ‘I'm crying rivers and oceans trying to keep myself flowing, but this feeling never disappears. I'm drowning, wishing you were here, but all you left me was tears’.

“Growing up in Newcastle, we've had those statements so much of ‘man up’ and ‘stop crying’ – all of those phrases that really leave an imprint in your mind as a young boy, and especially being gay. 

"I was trying to fight those emotions while growing up in this masculine world in Newcastle, and trying to deny that softer, more emotional, sensitive side of myself. This song was giving myself permission to feel those feelings. 

"One of the predominant reasons men just don't open up is because society has made us feel like we can't, so I just wanted to hit that head on and talk about it honestly and openly.”

Martin has always been open about his struggles with addiction. Upon moving to London as a teenager, he found himself indulging in a life of drugs and excess.

“In London I felt like I could be free and like I could breathe,” he recalls of his early days in the capital. 

“As much as I had an incredibly supportive family – I did come out when I was 17 – in Newcastle, there was no one around like me. At the earliest opportunity, I just had to get out of there so that I could carve out my own life and be who I truly am. 

"I don't think I was quite ready for what was coming. Music wasn’t at the forefront for me because I was going through such an internal battle over who I was. There were obviously the bright lights of London and things took over and my life did start to spiral. I really lost my way with music, although I knew it was always something that I had in my heart.”

After not writing a single song for nine years, something suddenly switched, and over the next few years he found himself penning hundreds of tracks (many which he stresses will never see the light of day). While he was at home one day, he had a knock at the door – opening it to be confronted by a neighbour flanked by two burly builders.

“It was quite scary! He was like, ‘Are you the one singing?’ I was like, ‘Oh no, I'm gonna get in trouble for the noise’. He asked if they were my songs, and said he had a studio down the road. He said, ‘We'd love you to come down to the studio tomorrow to have a chat and play us your songs,’ so in the height of this crazy life that was destroying me, here was a real glimmer of hope.”

Martin signed a publishing deal the very next day, which kickstarted his professional songwriting journey, which eventually led to him appearing on The X Factor in 2017, where he got all the way to the judge’s houses stage of the competition. 

Following his appearance on the show, songs such as Good Things Take Time, Sin in Your Skin and Punchline soon racked up over 30 million streams on Spotify and over 7 million views on YouTube – and all as an independent artist. He’s signed to Warner Music Germany now, which is something that is still sinking in.

“It was a mind blowing moment after waiting my whole life to see an email with that in the subject line. It’s definitely been a journey and a half for sure!”

He always taps into real experiences in his songwriting – “the deeper, the darker, the better!” – his new song, Easy being no exception.

“I've made some wrong decisions in love. The song is about me wondering why I always choose somebody who's gonna make a mess out of me, and reflecting on why I wasn't making the right choices. I think we've all looked in the mirror and thought, ‘What am I doing?’ 

"I decided a while ago not to let my own ego come between me and connecting with other people. That’s the driving force behind it all now, and if I didn't have that real honesty, then I wouldn't be able to do that.

“People say, ‘Your songs are so sad all the time,’ and I'm like, ‘Well, yeah because that's my way of connecting; that’s my lane! If you want to dance and have a good time, don't come to me. If you want to cry with a box of tissues, come on in,” he laughs.

Martin is in a happy, healthy relationship now; should fans expect some more upbeat tunes next?

“Well don't get too optimistic,” he grins. “My next single, Tears is about toxic masculinity and growing up in Newcastle with all of that around me and how I contended with that to become the person that I am now. So it's obviously still got the vein of heartbreak. 

"I'm still writing about a few years ago though, so I'm trying to catch up with my life. There are definitely happier songs coming! I wrote my first love song in L.A on my last day there and I can't wait to share that. They will get happier – a little bit – I promise.”