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Lucy Spraggan on addiction and new choices: "I didn’t know who I was"

It’s been a tumultuous 18 months for Lucy Spraggan. Of course, that’s a statement that could apply to virtually anyone in light of the pandemic, but in her case, the upheaval she has experienced in both her personal and professional life extends far beyond lockdown and the implications of Covid. She’s endured a divorce, given up alcohol, taken up running, lost six figures sums in lost touring earnings, started writing a memoir and, perhaps most pertinently, written Choices, an intensely intimate record that explores every sliver of light and shade that has entered her life over the past year-and-a-half.

“I like to find the positive in most things,” she says. “Undeniably, there have been catastrophic consequences for my business, financially. Not in a career sense, but financially it’s catastrophic – my house is on the market, I’ve sold my motor bike and camper van. But on the flipside, I’ve been offered this view of minimalism in my life that has made me focus on the things I enjoy.

"It has offered a time for me to be more inward and focus on my wellbeing more than I have in my entire life. Before lockdown I spent my whole life literally surrounded by hundreds of thousands of people and felt really alone, but now I’ve been isolated it’s probably the least lonely I’ve ever been.”

Since her show-stopping audition on The X Factor in 2012, Spraggan has enjoyed a more consistently successful career than some may realise, landing a string of Top 30 albums, two of which broke into the Top 10. And with Choices, she achieved her highest charting album yet, peaking at No.5 on the Official Albums Chart. So what’s been the key to her enduring appeal?

“Perseverance,” she states. “I’ve also been writing about success and how we measure it. I realised last year I was basing my success on what other people have achieved. Doing that in any walk of life, you are setting yourself up to fail. There will always be people who play bigger shows than me and make more money than me.

"On paper if we base our success on what anyone else has got it’s very difficult to be successful. I was like, hang on a minute, I do really well. I have the career that I always wanted.”

For Spraggan, it was vital that the life-altering events of the past 18 months were documented unflinchingly and without filter on Choices. While she has always written about her personal experiences, her records have always been peppered with tales told from the perspective of different characters. This time, however, a different approach was required.

I realised last year I was basing my success on what other people have achieved. Doing that in any walk of life, you are setting yourself up to fail.

“I wanted it to be an evolution,” she continues. “I took a different route – rather than reappearing as a different entity I’m still the same, but I made a few choices.”

Does that mean that she hasn’t necessarily been her true self on previous records?

“I didn’t know who I was,” she says. “Not that I wasn’t myself, it’s that I was several different personalities depending on who I was with or what I was trying to do. This is the first record I’ve written in a decade just because I wanted to write some songs, not because I was following an order from some dickhead A&R at a label or trying to fill a gap in the market. I know who I am now, and I just wanted to write songs that are true.”

In many ways, Choices enabled Spraggan to explore some of the darker events that have shaped her life since she last released a record. Songs such as Sober not only helped her address her battles with addiction, but offered her a view on how she could change her life for the better.

Sober was pretty hard because I hadn’t actually sat down to write down all the reasons I hated myself and needed to change, so I went into a room and did that and was like, ‘wow, I really have fucked up a lot here’. Songwriting is funny, especially when you’re writing for cathartic reasons. You end up writing things you don’t even know that you feel and go, ‘God, that’s true!’ It’s hard.”