As we return to the theme of reflection, Wainwright is still learning to let go of some of the more troubling aspects that framed his childhood. Born into something of a musical dynasty, his formative years were besieged by a fiercely competitive relationship not only with his siblings but also with his parents. Indeed, he very publicly fell out with his dad after teasing him that he had only achieved a Rolling Stone cover spot off of the back of his fame. Today he is more philosophical about his past than ever before.
“The further I get away from it the more I’m amazed at how incredible it was, growing up in the atmosphere I did, having music around all the time, having my parents communicate musically,” he says thoughtfully. “They kind of hated each other’s guts, but they wrote songs about each other, and they respected each other musically. I didn’t see my dad that much but when I went to one of his shows he would sing about his life and me and Martha, and that was such a fascinating situation. And then we would start to return that ‘favour’ [laughs]. So that whole saga ensued and that was a wild period. But the more I look back the more amazed I am at how great it was.
“I also went through periods, not so much now, but maybe after my mother died, where I would look back and go, ‘some of that wasn’t great’! We were maybe too in touch with certain aspects of adult life that we shouldn’t have been. I was resentful to both of my parents for some of their behaviour but now I am more into accepting everything and celebrating everything… but I had to go through the negative as well. That was a few years ago, so it’s becoming more rosy at the moment, which is a good thing.”
Despite the dysfunction of it all, he feels certain that the competitiveness within his family unit drove him to become the artist he is today.
“It’s a total blood sport,” he states. “My parents and my sister Martha all demonstrated that to each other early on. My mother loved us, my dad loved us as much as he could at that time - he was in his own world for a time so it was a different kind of relationship - but once we got onstage you became a whole other creature; a whole other animal… and all is fair in love and war and songwriting. It was intense and weird but also exhilarating and very beautiful when we joined forces. It was an amazing education and it made me the musician I am today. It was an opportunity and I seized it.”
While the regularity with which that competitive childhood streak reveals itself may have eased over time, Wainwright insists that he can still summon it up when required. The key, he tells us, is control.
“It’s still in there,” he smiles. “It’s in there but I’m better at diffusing it. And I have people in my life who do that as well. If I had married someone who was totally sycophantic and a ruthless worshipper who thought everything I did was miraculous then I’d be in a different position. People in my life will be critical of me sometimes, which is important to have. So, I know how to diffuse it, but you don’t want to lose it either because it definitely gets the engine going.”
After much talk of growing up and emerging from those formative years, we refocus to the present and that upcoming 50th birthday. As he has demonstrated, he is in a more reflective mood than perhaps at any other point in his life - the briefest glance at his body of work suggests an artist who rarely affords themselves the time to look backwards. And while he accepts that he is in as appropriate a place as any to consider his accomplishments, he’s keen to note before we part that there’s still plenty of new avenues and ambitions to pursue.
“On my last record I did look back to my early days in Hollywood and capturing that California sound, but it seems I’ve gone further now,” he says. “I’ve gone back to the source. So I am in a more contemplative mood for sure. And I’m very proud of my work so far. Proud that over the years I was so exacting and made no concessions in terms of the records I wanted to make, and that has proven to last. Those records are still worthy, and I never fell for any gimmicks.
“But if anything, I think now is a chance to clean the slate, contemplate it, throw it in the trash and come up with something totally new. I’m still writing a lot of songs; I’m mostly concentrating on writing for the theatre and working on some musicals and soundtracks, none of which I can talk about at the moment in depth. But don’t worry, new Rufus is coming!”
PHOTOS: Miranda Penn Turin